.let's be honest for a bit, shall we.

So, as you can tell...I haven't really posted any outfit pictures for months. And what the heck right, fashion is one of the main things I love talking about on the blog. So here I am to be honest with y'all for a bit and really but myself out here.  This first year in Minnesota has been one of the harder years filled with struggles. But what kept me going through these struggles was running. When running I was relaxed, focused, healthy, proud, and fit. I felt good about myself inside and out. In October, Dave and I ran our first marathon and it was an amazing feeling. However, after the marathon I was burnt out on running and took a few weeks off. The weeks then added up to months, then it become unbearably cold, and then excuse after excuse..blah, blah, blah.

When not running or exercise, I started to eat less healthy also.  Do you know what happens when an active person becomes sedentary and stops watching what they consume? BINGO! They gain weight! So during the winter months I have gained all the weight I lost over the spring, summer, and fall. While my weight went up I watched my self esteem and confidence go dramatically down. I watched it happen but was like a silent passenger...seeing it happen but not doing or saying anything.

Hence, no pictures taken during these months. I knew my body was changing, clothes not fitting, and I didn't want to see it and make it real. Last week while at work I was ringing up a fashionable, pretty, lady purchasing fashion books. When ringing her up I felt ugly, unworthy, ashamed and wanted to hide. After this one minute interaction, I really started to question why I had the feelings I did. I can't keep watching silently while I slowly destroy my self esteem and self confidence.

So now I have made a pledge to work on gaining back my self-confidence and enthusiasm for life.  I want to work on becoming healthier, simplifying our home, and focusing on what I want out of life! You may not see fashion posts for a while yet still, but I will be posting about my personal journey. I realized that when I wasn't blogging, I was losing the motivation to do things and work on myself. This means, I hope to have regular posts from now on.

I can't wait to get started and really get back to the person I know I can be!

Another month down another 10 lessons learned

When a month of living in Australia passes us by I think it is important to reflect and see what little lessons the world has provided us with. You can find month one and two, here and here! Now onto the next 10 lessons learned since arriving in this wonderful country and city!

1. People from your past can come back and make a great difference in your life.  When I posted about Getting Healthy and needing help with being accountable one of my best friends contacted me to help out. She and a few friends from high school email weekly and help each other with struggles and being accountable and they welcomed me into their group with open arms. I haven't talked to these friends for y.e.a.r.s. and I realize how much I missed having contact with them and how they are helping make a difference in one of the hardest areas I struggle with. Without their constant support I don't know if I could be as successful in getting healthy. So thank you ladies, I can't wait until we can have a mini reunion when I get back to the states!

2. How not to be obsessed with "cool".  During my first month here I found that I was OBSESSED with trying to be cool and what did that even mean, etc. Now that I have made a true effort the last months to not be unconcerned with what others concept of cool is and how I fit into it, being cool doesn't really cross my mind. I don't look at others with envy wishing I was that cool. I now just put my best foot forward and stay tuned to what I like, want, and don't really worry about anyone else. I don't even say the word "cool" anymore, which is shocking because it was in almost every other sentence when I first arrived here. 

3. I want to have my own little bookshop/music shop in the future.  Dave and I have always talked about having a secondhand bookstore when we retire, but after working at the bookshop I want this more than ever. When I work I feel so content and happy, I could be there for hours doing little things with the books and talking with customers. It will be years before I have my own store, but during that time I will be doing LOTS of research and saving my moola! I think I want to call our little shop, SHOAVE'S. hee heeeee

4. Dave & I have come a long way during the last year.  A year ago both Dave and I were going through our own personal hells. I can't speak for Dave (because that would just be rude and wrong of me) but for me, I was deeply depressed. I was having a hard time after my father-in-laws passing, it brought up a lot of things from my mothers passing 4 years earlier, I was emotionally drained due to going through my own things, helping Dave with his path of healing, and putting a brave face on at work day in and day out. This depression lasted for at least half a year, and when things were bad Dave and I would say to each other, "Don't You Wish You Could Go Surfing?", always thinking about how the escape to Australia would be. A year later, we have dealt with our little hells, we have grown as partners, and now we are loving life and all the little challenges and adventures it brings us. I'm SOOO proud of us for coming this far in our lives, together I know that we can take on the world. 

5. Not to walk out the door not feeling good about how I look.  I have made a vow to myself to never walk outside the front door not feeling good about how I look in.  When I do this I find that I am more self conscious about everything and how people look at me. When I wear an outfit that I feel good in, I find that I have more self confidence, I don't worry about how I look all day, I smile to people more, and I feel like the world is mine. Why would I want to leave the house and not feel this way?

6. Mexicans - Not Just People born in Mexico.  Dave told me this little bit of information that I thought was very interesting. People of the state New South Wales refer to residents of the state of Victoria as Mexicans. Why do they do this? Because Victoria is south of New South Wales and they relate the term Mexican to mean below the border/state line. Interesting, no?

7. If you could bottle up the joy of child has while playing on the beach, you may never be joyless again.  Nothing beats watching kids running around playing in the waves, building sandcastle,hearing their little giggles, and seeing their huge smiles. NOTHING.  

8. Some Aussies pronounce the letter 'H' differently.  Dave and I learned this by watching, Beauty & The Geek, as known as "research" for Australian culture! So after hearing how some people pronounced the 'H' on tv, I did some of my own research (a.k.a. asking my co-workers). Some people pronounce 'H' as "hech", I was told it was because they went to a Catholic school...I'm not sure if it is true, but it's what my findings are!

9. Books hold keys of wisdom.  A lot of the books I have been reading the last two months have me thinking about life, the future, and have inspired me. I believe that almost every book has a piece of wisdom in in, all we need to do is take the time to read it and see what it unlocks in our hearts, soul, and mind. 

10. I am ready for change.  I have been wanting to be ready for change, but change can't happen until you are truly ready for it. I am happy to share that I am FINALLY ready for change, I have my arms open to it and can't wait to grasp it.  Everything has been working together for this moment and oooooohhhh am I ready for it!

That is 30 lessons so far since landing in Australia!

What lessons have you learned lately from living this crazy thing called life?

.What I Want: Relationships.

September was my month to figure out who I wanted to be, October I worked on getting healthy and November is going to be all about working on relationships. I even have my playlist ready for the month with a friendship theme!

What I Want...Relationships:

• To be an engaged and active member of the community
• To continuously nurture and grow the relationships I have
• To be someone that is trusted and relied on
• For my love never to be doubted or questioned
• To find my "tribe"
• To be open to new experiences and new people
• To control my anger and not push others away
• To feel 100% comfortable with myself and with others
• To give love so deeply that it hurts at times
• To be vulnerable

My gansta wedding party

From the list above I am going to be focusing on: To Continuously Nurture & Grow the Friendships I Have. If you ask any of my friends you will find out that I am not the best person at keeping in contact with others. I don't call (.ever.), write emails, text..I always seem to get wrapped up in my own life and just assume my friends are also wrapped up in theirs, so I never put the effort in. But that needs to change because my friends are truly like family to me, they love me and accept me as I am...that is a HUGE thing and they deserve more love and respect from me.

I plan on doing this by:

• writing e-mails at least twice a month to say hi and check in!
• Sent surprise gifts or snail mail to let them know I have been thinking of them.
• Open myself up more/be more vulnerable with them...really tell them how I am doing and when I am struggling.
• express how I feel about our relationship and what it means to me
• build a relationship where we can challenge and hold each other accountable when needed
• be honest
• make time: friendships are as important as other relationships in my life

To be honest, I 'm really really excited about this month and working on my relationships! I know this is going to be both rewarding to me as well as the others I hope to reach out to! I will keep you updated on how things go during the month!

Does anyone else struggle with this?

How do you keep connected with friends?

.Getting Healthy: Update.

At the beginning of the month, I wrote about how I want to get healthy and my goals in achieving this (which you can find here).

To be honest with you, things have not gone off as well as anticipated or expected. I'm one of those people where I do things for a little while, something happens to screw it up and then it takes me another week before I FINALLY get back on track. And then of course I find another reason to get off plan...then the cycle starts again. BUT I am realizing this trend and am trying hard to kick it in the butt, really I am, even if it doesn't look like it or feel like it.

However I have:

1.  created my Food Diary, I just need to use it every day not just once a week!

Dairy, Fruit/Veggie, Water, and Pop Intake Counts
What I Fed My Body, How I Moved My Body, and How I Felt

     2. I have my 10 reasons to get healthy taped to the fridge door, my favorite reason is: I DESERVE IT! Because I do deserve to have a healthy life and that is something I forget a lot of the time!

    3.  Dave and I have started lowering our pop intake, we are down to 1.5L a day....which is still a lot but less than what we used to drink. Also we know drink the same amount of water (or more) than we do of pop each day...drinking water at all is a major improvement!

   4. Cooking new healthy meal - we did this a few times, we had chicken wraps one week and then chicken quesadillas another week. I really need more ideas outside of chicken, so if you got any send them our way! I must warn you we only have two working burners and no oven ( I'm afraid to try and light the pilot light...I feel like I will start on fire because I'm so uncoordinated).

   5. Dave and I are slowly working out more and on a consistent basis. We are starting running again, which I have missed more than I ever thought I would, on Monday we ran 2.5 miles and then walked about 3 miles back home. Also, we have discovered the Ocean Baths are a great place to get a swimming workout in! (Ocean Bath: Like a pool, but filled with sand and salt water located right next to the ocean. Basically the best way to technically swim in the ocean!) We swam a few laps and did some running laps in the water as well. It's a great workout for days that I'm working because it's easy on the body and only located 3 blocks from the store!

Each day is a struggle, choosing to be healthy and happier is harder than staying the same and feeling content. Dave and I were having a great Sunday; we swan in the Ocean Baths, laid on the beach, Dave made sandwiches, watched an episode of Bachelorette together on the couch, and then BOOOOOOOOOMMM I felt like crap (mentally & emotionally). The tiny voice in my head was saying , I was fat, I was ugly, asking if I have gained weight since living in Australia.  My response was to crawl into bed for 30 min. not wanting to see anyone or do anything but wallow in my poor self esteem. But finally I made the decision that I wasn't going to let this voice in my head ruin anymore of my day. I made the decision to get up, get out of my pjs, and take a little walk with Dave, it was far to nice outside to not enjoy it...even if my tiny voice was telling me that nobody should have to see me.  Every day I need to put that tiny voice in check, its hard and sometimes the tiny voice wins but I'm trying to squash it forever one day at a time. 

Any healthy living tips?

How do you stay motivated?

More importantly, how do you say 'NO' to your cravings?

#1: Get Healthy...

Recently I shared my list of What I Want...Personal and that I was going to work on a few things from this list.  With every item on my What I Want List I have a counterpart on my How I Will Achieve List.

The first thing I want to Achieve is: Get Healthy and Feel Comfortable with My Body.  This will help achieve the points - Dress the way I want to, Feel comfortable with my body, and Get Healthy. These are all big things for me and things that I feel will help guide the rest of my journey.

How do I plan on achieving this:

• Create Exercise Plan: get active at least 30 min., 5 days a week
• Keep Daily Log of Food: no lying, cheating, nothing but complete honesty
• Begin lowering my pop intake and increasing my water intake.
• Cook one new healthy meal a week: making it fun and educational
• Create list (Top 10) reasons why I want to be healthy
• Keep Body Journal: each week (or day) write something positive about my body
• Create small list of rewards for goal met

Getting healthy is something I struggle with, I do it and then fall back to my old ways again when times get tough. Its been over a year since I would say I was healthy, I was the healthiest around May 2010. I loved the way I felt, I want that back sooo bad. So now, I am off to get that feeling back again, where I love shopping for clothes, and most importantly whenI feel like I can do it all.

So I ask a favor from you, will you help keep me accountable? 

I know I need it to be a successful, 

so this is me reaching out to you to help me make it possible. 

My Journey: Who Am I?

I am pooped today and not really sure why...but at least it means I will finally get to bed at a decent time. Since moving into our apt. we haven't been going to bed until like 2a.m....not good!

On Friday (Thursday in America) I will be volunteering at University of Newcastle for their Cultural Awaking Event. I am super duper pumped for this, I have been smiling non stop since getting off the phone with the peeps in charge.

So while I get back into my element of being on campus, here is the post I had over at Diana's blog for you to read!  I think it's important for me to share here as well because it will be a big part of my life here in Aussie as well as the blog.
______________________________________________________________________________

Sho + Dave = Shoave

A little while after my husband and I started dating a friend mixed our names together and came up with Shoave, just like Brangelina..but a little less famous, wealthy, and waaaaay fewer kids [like no kids at all....yet].  This past year Dave and I decided that we were going to move to Australia for 6-12 months and see if we could make it in another country. This is something I have always wanted to do, the timing was perfect for us to do so we jumped at the chance. During the months leading up to moving we discussed that our time in Australia was going to be the time where we find ourselves and become the people who we want to be, no pressures and expectations to meet.

Before getting too serious (i.e. getting jobs and figuring how who we are) we have taken time to explore things near our new home in Newcastle, New South Wales.

who can resist a smiling koala bear?

But now it is time  to finally buckle down and figure out, Who The Heck I Am/ Want Be.  How to do this...I'm just not sure yet. We do have a little something on our fridge that makes me think about it quite often. 

This is our fridge door...

 This is the postcard that greets me every time I reach for something to eat or drink:

Avantcard

It's like when you are at an interview and they ask you to describe yourself and you never know what to say. You end up mumbling a few things and then hope that they move forward with the next question. But now there is no moving forward on to the next, I am going to stay at this question until I figure it out.  Then I will be able to answer the next question of Who Do I Want To Be and how the heck do I get there.  I do have a general idea of who I want to be; I want to be someone who is more self confident, who actually cares and tries to be healthy, who is more adventurous in wardrobe choices, and who thinks that they are "cool" (seriously, what does "cool" even mean!), but I think there is more to me than that and I need to explore it.

I invite you to join me on this journey of becoming and figuring out the person I want to be as well as following Shoave's Aussie Adventures!  

Cheers!

p.s. any advice is totalllllllyyyy appreciated, that is what blog families are for right?

HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE! 

I will keep you posted on how the volunteering goes..but cross your fingers

that is goes splendid!